It pisses me off so much on how quickly strawberries go bad.


Anonymous asked:

a guy once told me that semen whitens your teeth and for years I believed him and rinsed it around my mouth like mouthwash and I just realized I have never been punked so hard in my life



Don’t you hate it when you are 99.9% sure a guy is gay

and you stalk check his Facebook and it says he has a “girlfriend” 

like I’m pretty sure that this girl is his beard cause there is no way he likes pussy. I guess i’ll have to find out this information when I work with him more.

Weird Dream Time!

ok so I had a dream last night that I was a FBI or DEA or something. My team was trying to track down a drug lord. Most of the dream was me investigating this mexican restaurant/bar which looked a lot like Rosas (a fast food mexican restaurant). Turns out there is a drug trade going on in the basement of the restaurant?

For some reason Pauly D from jersey shore was there bitching about a spilled glass of water. I told him to shut up, started this whole shoot up.

Everyone was fine except one of my co-worker’s boyfriend who died in the shooting. The rest of the dream consisted of me comforting him in his time of grief.

So, will we ever catch this drug lord? Will I end up having a relationship with the guy who lost his boyfriend? Why the fuck was Pauly D in my dream? DUN DUN DUN!!!

So my car won’t start.

oh happy day…

That moment

when you get back from the gym, you’ve been working out hard for the past week and you think you look awesome and you actually don’t hate your body…

But then you get on tumblr and see all the hotties

then you feel like crap again….

What I felt like the entire day

I’m going to bed early tonight.

So I’m back and in my dorm

"reading" and I want some music on youtube to listen too. Then I remember how slow internet is here….

So I went to poster sale

at my school and they had about everything from movie posters, tv shows, nature, whatever (by the way, you write down the poster number on a card then at check out they get the poster for you)

Well I saw a badass picture of How I Met Your Mother crew and I was like

but at the bottom it said “sold out”

well I looked around some more, and there was another one that didn’t say sold out

I find some other posters and then proceed to check out! Well at the desk they told me that they sold out of the second HIMYM poster AND they were sold out of the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia poster I wanted

don’t even get me started on the rest of my day when I dealt with asshole employees at Walmart and Sam’s Place.